Have you ever heard the phrase “Do as I say, not as I do?” I’m sure many of us heard someone say this at some point in our lives and most times it is coming from a person who is giving advice that he or she does not follow.
Recently I have been watching a lot of tv shows on Netflix and I’m currently viewing The secret life of the American teenager. It is about a 15 year old high school girl who gets pregnant and all of the trials that come along with it.
On a recent episode her father was lecturing her about being honest and doing the right thing. She politely pointed out to him the lies and errors that he has made in his own life.
It is difficult enough trying to get people to take your advice when you are actually practicing what you preach yet alone, trying to advise someone who clearly knows you are not doing what you are advising them to do.
One day I was going back and forth with my mother about a situation and when I left from her presence I realized immediately that I had just done the same thing to her that I hate when she does it to me.
Many times the very thing we cannot stand in others is the same traits within us.
I just read an article about Bishop Eddie Long. He is the international minister who spoke out intensely against homosexuality but was accused some months ago of coercing young boys into having sex with him. The writer was very upset with the fact that Long had paid a settlement but never came forth with the truth about the matter.
Basically saying that if Long was innocent he should have defended himself and made the hearing public.
Although he understood the paying of the settlement to keep from having any further damage done to his reputation he feels that with his followers not knowing the truth of the matter it does not allow many the option of forgiving him or not.
After reading this well written article I began to think about the people in his congregation. I thought about all of the people who still support Long and what kind of lives they must lead. I imagined them committing sins against the church, keeping it a secret and living double lives.
I can also see that after Long not shedding light on the subject further confirmed to them that they don’t have to be honest either.
I know that a lot of people are living by his example and not by what they really feel in their spirit.
I say this with conviction not only from what I see on a daily basis from people in general but because I saw a news clip of Long and his followers marching against homosexuality. In the segment they interviewed a lady from his church and asked her “why do you think homosexuality was wrong?” and she basically said “because Long said so.”
I cannot say I was in shock but it did amaze me that she could not speak from her on convictions. I always say when the head is not right neither shall be the tail or the rest of the body of that fact.
I myself find it difficult to do what I’m told if the person who is telling me what to do is not following the rules. For example, I was working at a salon and we were told not to use our cell phones inside but the owners where always using theirs inside. Although I knew that they were the boss and could do whatever they wanted I would sometimes find myself using my cell phone inside especially if it wasn’t convenient to step outside.
Even when I owned my salon and things would go wrong with my employees I would always check myself first to see if I caused the problem since I was the head.
Many people who are parents, a boss, manager or supervisor never think that they contribute to the chaos that is caused amongst the people who they are in charge of.
In some cases it may not be your fault but in most cases I would bet it is.
None of us are perfect and every day we should be trying to strive for excellence.
I do not hold any unforgiveness against Long for what he has done because he is a flawed man like all of us. I no longer look to anyone but God as being above me no matter what their position is but there are many people who are looking at those in higher positions as examples.
So if you are one of those people who quote “Do as I say but not as I do,” I want to know, how is that working for you?