Finding Love From Heart Break

Finding Love from heartbreak
Finding Love from heartbreak
Tonight I went to dinner with an ex.  See the thing about this guy was that although he wasn’t my typical wildly successful man, he was among one of the best guys I ever dated.  And although he had some financial short comings (he was far from poor), although he is wildly ambitious;  It was almost as if he had predicted the end of the relationship from the very beginning.  He is one of the sweetest nicest guys I have ever met, he was sweet and attentive, but in the end he couldn’t believe what I saw in him, because he didn’t see it in himself.
What I took away from that situation is that sometimes God gives you reminders, of who you are and how you need to be treated.  I had met him at a time, when my confidence was shaken, and I wasn’t sure if I had the strength to try love, but even if I had the character to deserve it, and for the short time we dated he reminded me that not only did I deserve it I should demand it.
I sometimes forget that men are human, and as I sat next to him at dinner being able to finally ask him why he had treated me the way that he did, It dawned on me that he wasn’t the man for me to begin with he was just a place holder for who ever the real man is to be in my life.
Nothing comes without trial and error and although it took me a while to get over the rejection I felt when that relationship ended, I am grateful that for that time he came into my life and reminded me that I was capable of getting the kind of love that I gave out, and I think out of all that came of our situation that was the best gift.
There was a point at dinner when the question was raised about us maybe getting back together, and I was good. I didn’t need another go round to know that he would be better off with someone else. But I wouldn’t change the time we spent.
Have you spent time with an ex to only see that you were better off going through that heartbreak?  What is the best lesson you learned from a heartbreak? Have you had an ex that you regretted breaking up with? What is the best way you found to get over an ex? What do you regret about some of your past relationship?

Drug Store Finds-Essie Nail color

You dont have to look no further than your neighborhood drug stores for your beauty fix. Here are a few of my FaVs by Essie,  from left to right Turquoise & Caicos, Lilacism, Coat Azure, and my purchase Lapiz of Luxury.

Sent from my iPhone

Indique Hair Review

indique virgin indian hair review
indique virgin indian hair review

I am extremely particular about what I put on my head.  So when a friend of mine invited me to Indique for an event a few weeks ago, the free manicure and the alcohol was more of a draw for me than the hair was because I had already seen the hair that she had purchase.

And although everyone is using the buzz words Remy and Virgin Indian hair, I have my suspicions that some of this hair is just as much of a virgin as I am.   Especially since, Virgin hair or hair that has not been processed with any sort of chemicals, preferably coming from one donor, or one person’s head doesn’t have the exact same curl pattern every single batch every single time

The manicures were Indique Pink By Ginger and Liz
The manicures were Indique Pink By Ginger and Liz

unless duh…it’s been processed.

So when the ladies at Indique tried to sell me some virgin Indian hair from their bounce collection I looked at it out of the side of my eye.

Now in all fairness there were some women that I know for buying some premium hair around the city, who were in there not to mooch off the free mani as I was,  they were actually repeat customers there for the discounted hair with Indique’s sample sale,   And these Ladies swore by the hair.

However judging from the hair that was actually worn by those in attendance who wore Indique hair I wasn’t really all that impressed and damn sure not enough to fork over the $100 and up for an pound of their hair.  My girlfriend that bought her hair there had spent over $300.00 for the hair she purchased.

Since I am transitioning from perm to au natural when it comes to my locks and my short haircut has started to grow out a bit, enough to not be able to wear the style I had originally and not long enough for me to cut it into something new and fab, I decide to get me some hair.  Since Indique was having a sale. If that’s what you call spending $107.00 an pound for the hair I purchased.

Indique Girl. She was wearing the Bounce Relaxed Straight
Indique Girl. She was wearing the Bounce Relaxed Straight. This is the only hair I might purchase. However at $200 per ounce for 18 inches I don't know about that...

When I buy hair it must match at least Four criteria before I call it Good Hair.   And in order of supreme importance.

Shine Shine Shine I hate hate hate shiney looking baby doll hair that looks like it belongs on Barbie than on my head. I am a black woman, my hair has no real shine to it, It is imperative for your hair blend to make sure you have the same sheen to it as the hair that you are putting in your head.

Texture, This is extremely important when going for a natural looking blend.

Movement Real Hair moves a certain way. It moves like natural hair. It moves when the wind blows it and it isn’t supposed to tangle and bunch up for dear life. If your weave does this it’s not good hair.

A good Color Match- Is good to have when you buy it so that you don’t have the extra step of dying your hair to match the weave, vice versa or both.

So I took my time looking for the hair I was going to buy when in Indique, and I repeatedly asked for the hair with the least sheen in it, well that is totally not what I got when I did purchase the coil curl from Indique’s Bounce Collection.

The hair that didn’t have a sheen to it that I was interested in getting was the Organic Curl hair, also from the Bounce Collection.   However, there was a young lady in there who had an install of the Organic Curl and she told me that it was the worst hair she had ever purchased, and spent over $300 to boot… Yikes. She also told me that their customer service stunk when she tried to give them her opinion on the hair.

Well, I couldn’t be so bothered with that,  Actually she stank eyed me as I bought my Coil hair and told me that I had been warned about their curly hair and the only hair that she would be buying from there would be the permed straight hair.

I purchased the Coil hair and installed it. Let’s just say that hair  with that hair, not for the quality, but for the blend.  I was way too shiny to look real. PERIOD, so what I had to do was mix it with some of the BSS (beauty supply store) Boheym hair Brazillian texture hair, which is a dead on match for African American hair, however I suspect it is not an actual human’s hair and sheds like heck and and tangles very easily.

I mixed that hair with the hair I got from Indique and was able to pass it off as a hairstyle. Actually it looks pretty good for now.

My Wagman's Hair install
My Wagman's Hair install. I will be re-installing.

Soooo….here is my theory on the hair.  My girlfriend has had her install in for at least 4 months.  However for my taste it is super stringy and doesn’t really blend all that well, as her natural hair is thick and the weave is a little baby doll.

But it moves like natural hair so in that case I know plenty of women that can rock with this.

My hair that I purchased from Wagman’s does the same thing, the negative to that hair is that it’s shiny as well.

An Evening With Ledisi


My Cousin Charan has been singing this young Lady’s praises for the Longest.  I can’t count the number of times that I have heard her mention something about attending her performances.

Ledisi Performing Samsung NYC
Ledisi Performing Samsung NYC

So when I received the invite to attend her recent show at the Samsung Experience in the Time Warner Center, for the private listening party for her upcoming album I jumped at the chance and I wasn’t the least bit disappointed.

She blew us away literally, With Guest such as Black Thought of the Roots, BET President Stephen Hill amongst others It was a great evening of music. Although I have to admit I really wasn’t that familiar with her music, that voice can not be denied .

And the live performance she gave, she sang (yes SANG) until she poured with sweat.  My favorite song besides the title cut “Pieces Of Me”, was definitely the song she introduced as her expression of her pimp moment when she announced it was called “Hate that you Love me”…

It was an empowering song about a woman who is in a relationship with a man, who can’t seem to get her out of his mind, no matter how he tries, but she is her first true love, and honey I can relate to having that struggle….lmao… She might as well called my name.

But don’t take my word for it click here to hear some music.  check out her page for more info on the new album.

How Not to Be the Angry Black Bitch

Angry Black B** Word
For the Love Of God Don't Be Her..

I was having a conversation with a friend of mine who is going through a little love frustration and child I know I have been there.  It seems that although she is in what seems to be the ending of what facebook would categorize as a “complicated” relationship; she who is normally uninspired has found someone new who has peaked her interests.

talk to the hand...
talk to the hand...

After a few weeks of enjoying the witty banter and new-nesss of loveliness that is the infatuation stages of her relationship, it seems that the new car smell of this relationship is starting to wean. So as we are discussing the source of this day’s frustration namely being he hadn’t called her all day.  And She sure as hell wasn’t calling him because he didn’t call her, I asked her “What is your Goal Here?”

I think sometimes in relationships we don’t see the forest for the trees.  I know my goal at all times, even when I’m mad at my boo is to be with him…. And sometimes to get my way I have to eat a lot of sh*** I mean crow.

With the idea of the angry black woman lurking in the cobwebs of every black man’s mind it seems that in this day and age, whenever we try to address an issue with our men we are somehow seen as emasculating dominating, and disrespectful.

And sometimes before we even have a chance to address a valid issue, We assume that the man either hasn’t identified this behavior as a problem, that is causing his lady pain or is just a character flaw that although may have been tolerated and embraced in past relationships it is just not works for thisAngry Black particular girl.

When we try to do this we are sometimes met with a wall of resistance that is normally met with a tirade by a bunch of closed minded psychic men who think they know what you’re going to say before we even get a chance to get our point across.

So instead of getting mad here are my points to overcome the male prejudice of the Angry Black Female by trying to follow these simple steps.


I think sometimes we get so frustrated with the situations in front of us, our initial reaction is to REACT.

Sometimes in order to put some perspective in a particular situation is to give yourself a chance to cool down about it.  If you give yourself a few minutes, hours or days, you might just realize what you were upset about was just a by product of you not getting your way and not so much a transgression on the man’s part.

I had a romantic weekend planned for my man, filled with nice hotel, and a lot of sexy oufits and dirty tricks and he called me with some mess about his Grandmother…HOW THE HELL CAN YOU FIGHT WITH A MAN ABOUT GRANDMA… So rather than getting mad at him, although I was pretty perturbed ( a snotty way of saying pissed the fuck off).  I swallowed my displeasure…. Sent him some angry (bratty, playing) texts.

And in the morning called him to tell him how I thought it was great that he put his Nana Ahead of the dirty nasty freaky things I was planning for him.

This way I let his mind wander about what he missed out on, I came off looking compassionate and caring and shit… and we’re all good.

Ask Yourself What is the Goal…

For my Friend she was frustrated first and foremost because of the lack of consistency with this dude, but she was also upset because she wasn’t getting her way.  So when I asked her what was it that would make her happy…She said that she wanted to spend time with him…hmmm ok…. so If you are a bitch to him when he finally calls you,  Do you think it would make him want to spend time with him or Not want to spend time with him?

If you keep your eye on the goal at all times it will help you to blow off the small stuff and then allow you to get your way.

She kept saying to me that her pride wasn’t gonna allow her to call him. And I didn’t tell her that she should,  but I did ask her if her pride was more important than getting her way.. Because for me I try not to allow my pride to get in the way of me getting my way.  I like getting my way above all.

Argue in the Nude…

This one is thanks to my jump off who told me a darling story about testimony having something to do with Roman courts and testicles and saying that a man can’t lie in the nude…uhm I don’t believe that.

But I do think it’s hard for a man to argue with a butt naked woman.  There’s nothing more feminine, and disarming than a woman in the buff.   Now I’m not sure if he will listen clearly to whatever your complaints are ass… I mean as, the blood is rushing from his head, to his nether regions, you won’t seem as argumentative if you say it either before or after sex.

And don’t start by telling him what he did wrong start by telling him how what he did made you feel. In her case that she felt like he didn’t want to speak to her because he didn’t call her all day.  And for the love of all that is holy if you argue in the nude..make sure this is a small argument and not about something real…

Never Ever Address it in a Text

I told you already how I feel about conver-texting…it’s a no no…the chances of you getting your point across in the way that you intended it in a text is slim and none.

You can neither read emotions nor sarcasm through a text message.

And the chances of you coming off as a bitch is highly likely if you choose to communicate displeasure this way.  The best way to address issues with men is in person.

Men are people too and most of the time they know what their flaws are…so they don’t need us to point them out ad nauseum, but we do have to learn the best way to address the issues is in a non-confrontational way.

Pick your battles

OMG If I argued with my dude for every stupid ass dumb thing he ever did I would’ve killed him or broken up a long time ago. The best thing to do sometimes is to not sweat the small stuff. I know a lot of women who will pick a scab into a cancer.  If it is a small thing and something you can live without commenting on just let it go.

Get Some Shut the Fuck Up-ness

Not everything deserves a comment, or critique from you.

Get some…Uhm well this is self explanatory.  No one is perfect and if you had a mate that always pointed out all of your flaws. Would this be the person you’d want to be around all the time. I know I’d run away from his ass with the quickness.

Think about it this way,  If You give everyone you know a piece of your mind what would you have left?

Now I’m not saying you won’t argue the old fashion way, but for the love of God, learn how to argue in a responsible way.

Never ever go for the jugular every time you are stabbing him with your words, unless your goal is to kill the relationship.  And To the men forwarding this article to their girlfriends and Wives your dumb asses would learn a lot from this article to…Make no mistakes about it I’m still an angry black woman but I’m just beginning anger management so don’t cross me. : )

Lance Gross

Lance Gross
Hot Chocolate AnyOne?

Uhm…I don’t regret many things in life but I tell you I love love especially Black Love.
Lance Gross

So when I met the adorable Lance Gross with his then girlfriend Model Eva Marcielle, I was rooting for Lance Grossthem they looked so cute together.  And I must admit when I saw him a few months ago at a celebrity party in LA I had let him know that I was less than happy about his break up…stupid assss me…
Lance Gross
Always thinking of other’s when I should’ve been getting my Man on as we used to say in High School…lmao…after seeing these pictures Uhm I see that I definitely need to put some chocolate in my diet.  Third times a charm Lance…I’m’ma see you again…lmfao

Lance a Friend and I
Lance a Friend and I

Get Sun Kissed Look with Bronzer

Even though Spring has sprung for most of the country, If you have been stuck in a city such as New York you’ve been faking it, your tan I mean.

So if you haven’t been kissed by the sun yet and don’t want to go all jersey shore up in this bitch.

You wanna know how you can get a sun kissed look when the sun refuses to cooperate.

Well, My Make Up Idol…Sam Fine suggest that you must use a B and B that’s a bronzer paired with Blush.  Mr Fine says that if you apply the bronzer on first, pairing it with a blush it will soften the look of the blush.

He also suggest using not only one but 2 bronzers a few shades apart one lighter one darker. Using the lighter one for highlighting and the darker one to contour.

I like to use the lighter or highlight color under my eye above my cheek bone and the darker color on my forehead and below my cheek bone…and right on the cheek bone i apply my blush.

You can also apply your bronzer in a number 3 formation with your brush starting at the corner of your eye and sweeping in an arc to above your eye brow or brow bone and your second arc under your cheekbone.

And for an all over glow use a lotion that has a hint of shimmer in it so that you will that tanned look without going all snookie.

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